Monthly Archives: January 2019

Marriage Intimacy

This Marriage Intimacy Information Could Change Your Life

Have you ever taken a close look at the words marriage intimacy? Lets first look at the word intimacy, broken down it looks like into me see! It is a spouse who stops, listens and sees into their mate; looking at who they are deep down inside and how God has made them!!

Intimacy is allowing others to see what is inside of you, including your spouse. That’s a scary idea. Practicing intimacy with your spouse is all about learning to be transparent. The only way we are going to learn to be transparent ourselves is by practicing acceptance of them.

Marriage Intimacy Can Be Either Joyful or a Heartache.

Most husbands don’t realize that their wives have a greater need for friendships than they do. The connection that wives need in a relationship runs deep.

On the other hand, husbands want to go out and have fun, whereas wives want to get to know more about you. Also, they love to spend quality time together, like shopping, but they want to talk while doing it!t!

Girls are naturally drawn to be friends initially. A girl’s initial expertise with heartbreak is over losing a “best friend” instead of a “boyfriend.” once wives lose friendships with their husband, they grieve laboriously.

They grieve for the relationship; the secrets shared, the trust built and the acceptance we enjoyed. If betrayed, the pain runs deep. Nobody will cause you a lot of hurt than somebody you’ve trusted deeply.

This is why I always say it’s dangerous too hurt a woman ~Rachale Kelley

When in school your best friend knew who you were afraid of and who you secretly liked. She knew you still had Barbies in your room and you cried for a week when your father came home drunk. She knows your Mom can cook and you “came this close” to hurting your cousin for taking you there.

Most recall a time at school once a friend we tended to be trustworthy established loose lips. It cut like a knife, which is when the creation of a mask starts. The “you” you’re not willing to let the world see, this is what happens in a marriage.

Wearing a Mask Carries Over into Marital Intimacy.

You hide behind a mask, thinking you are happier as a result of you won’t trust your better half or anyone else for that matter. However, you tend to lose a lot. If nobody is aware of the trouble you are in, you deny your spouse or others the opportunity to minister to you and keep you responsible. You miss the excellent counsel of mature Christians, not to mention their prayers.

You don’t want to risk letting your spouse see the bad stuff. If you allow them to see just the right thing – you will ever allow them to see the bad – you are misleading them to thinking that things are always good!

If your spouse accepts you because of the false front you present – then deep down you know it is only the false front they received. The real you will remain alone, and you know it. That is why so many wives who we see as “picture perfect” are struggling with deep insecurities inside.

Regardless of how things start, you want to look at how you can take the mask off and start being real in your marriage.

How Do you Start Improving the Your Marriage Intimacy?

Before you can allow someone to see inside of you, you must accept who you are. If you are not comfortable with who you are on the inside, you will always hide behind a wall. The majority of people live their lives without God until they finally open their spiritual eyes. They are ashamed but feel completely accepted! It is amazing how much God loves and takes us just as we are.

“This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that He loved us..” (1 John 4:9-10 NLT)

God loved us before we ever loved Him. He is the one who initiated our relationship. God did not wait for us to clean up our act so He could love us. We were rotten people with all kinds of emotional baggage and bad habits!

“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners…God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Romans 5:6-8.

God looked down on us when we were utterly helpless! And He loves us in-spite of where we are in our marriage intimacy.

If we could learn to live our lives through our Heavenly Father’s eyes, we could accept ourselves as imperfect people who serve a perfect God. We will learn to recognize our spouses as a flawed person also. We will be able to take off our masks and allow them to take off theirs.

Let’s Dig Deep Into the Word Intimacy = Into Me See.

How do you respond to your spouse when they are transparent? They are letting it all hang out, with no pretenses or masks? Do you see the negatives and immediately judge them? Do you find yourself secretly wishing that they would be quiet and keep their truth to themselves?

Honestly, I have thought that! Sometimes it is just easier to not see inside of our spouse! But that is just selfishness. That is not the heart of our Father in heaven. He sees inside of all of us and loves us anyway in spite of our imperfections, and He wants us to do the same with our spouse.

Next time your spouse comes along with no masks on, with their emotions and negative traits hanging out, take time to listen to them. Look them in the eye and consider everything about them that drives you crazy, Now love them, because God does in spite of their inperfections.

Then go to the bathroom and look yourself in the eye. Don’t start thinking “Well, at least I don’t go around like that!” or “I’m not so bad compared to that.” That will ruin everything. No, look and see the real you. See you that is most definitely not perfect, just like your spouse is not perfect!

Now love yourself.

It will be a freeing experience for you. You will be on the way to accepting yourself and your spouse for who you both are if you take the mask off!

If you have a hard time loving yourself due to the mask you are living behind, it’s time to get help from someone that you can trust, maybe a Pastor or a Christian counselor for starters. If you have been wearing a mask for a long time, you might need to seek professional help. Whatever you do don’t take steps backward keep moving forward!

In the past, I had shared my insecurities with people who in turn used them against me. I have shared my dreams with people, and they had teased me on numerous occasions. I have reached out in friendship to only to be rejected. I won’t lie. It hurts. But for every time that I am hurt, I have a long list of times God has blessed me. I have built a friendship with my husband that I would never have imagined. I have been amazed to see God use my testimony to strengthen my marriage and give another woman hope.

Intimacy is for you and your spouse, and you should be able to lay your heart bare to them.

It’s not healthy to not be able to share with your spouse openly. Your ties with your spouse should be so close that you can go to them with anything without feeling condemned or judged. Also, you should be able to enjoy spending time with your spouse because you share the same interests or values. You should be able to talk to your spouse about anything! It’s not crucial that you are intimate with a lot of people, just that you are experiencing intimacy with your spouse!

A marriage should not be something that comes and goes!

If you look back, you’ll see people who have significantly impacted your life. Many of them are not in your life today because they had to move on. I believe God does this to keep us from leaning too much on others so that we will lean on Him for our marriage! Instead of becoming insecure and afraid to invest ourselves in our marriage, I have come to see these individuals as a gift from God for a season in life to make me a better wife!

You see, our very best friend can be Jesus. Our spouse often makes mistakes, but God never does. You can always rely on Him. Regardless of what happens He won’t betray your trust or makes fun of you. He still has a listening ear and gives you good advice. He always builds you up and never tears you down. He invites you into uninhibited intimacy with Him. He knows your heart, and He longs for you to understand His. It is a relationship that can never be taken from us by distance or death. It is a forever love that will sustain us through everything, even the tough times in our marriage.

If you don’t know Jesus in this way, I want to invite you to get to know Him today because He will keep you even when you don’t feel safe being intimate with your spouse! It all starts with a prayer.

Dear Jesus, I’m not perfect. I mess up all the time. I’m not living my life the way that I should. I believe what the Bible says about You and me. Because of my sin, I cannot get to heaven on my own, but You came to make way for me. You lived a perfect life, died on the cross to pay for my sins, rose again and live today in heaven. I ask You to forgive me, Jesus and cleanse my heart of the wrong that I’ve done. I ask You to save me and take me to heaven with You when I die. Thank You for being my Savior. Please help me to live my life without masks in my marriage. Help me to get to know You as my very Best Friend. Amen.

Wherever you live, there are still some great churches nearby that you can attend that teach the word of God and support marriages. Tell someone there that you prayed to accept Jesus and you want to know everything there is to know about Him and how He can help your marriage intimacy look like his relationship with the church.

How to Create A Family vision and Mission With Ease

Family vision, family mission

Do you struggle to create a family vision and mission for you and your child’s life? Do you or your spouse end up living day to day without having an inspiration and feeling like you’ve lost your focus or you never had one for either you or your children? No worries there is hope!

I am not sure if you know how important it is to have a family mission, it’s just as important as creating a vision for your marriage! It is also the key to keeping your marriage and family together when tough times show up! It will help you to refuse to quit when things are not going the way you think they should!

In many cases, if you come from a dysfunctional family, you might find it difficult to create a family vision and mission. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it, even though raising children who know their purpose can be challenging you can do it even when you don’t know where to start!

Have no fear today I am going to share with you exactly how to create a family vision and mission with ease!

First, let’s look at God’s instructions to Habakkuk not only did He tell him to write the vision down but to make it understandable enough to even where your children can read and take action with it. As you will learn a little further it reminds us that the vision will come in God’s appointed time.

The Bible tells us in Habakkuk 2:2-3: 2 Then the LORD replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. 3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

Exalting recommendations on the way to develop a family vision and mission for you and your children’s future:

  1. Enable slowly into your schedule time to do nothing but reflect on your life. Giving yourself time to mull over your childhood in the direction you and your family are going in is integral to continuing to develop a family vision and mission for you and your children.
  2. Open your mind and measuring your life and where you and your children are at this point may be a somewhat discouraging method. However, you have got to acknowledge what’s happened to you to verify whether or not your families life is on track to experience the same thing.

• This method may be a challenge. However, the tip result may manufacture one wonderful life that’s custom-made for your family vision.

  1. Be at liberty to write some notes. Ponder on what you’ve accomplished up to now in your journey and what you desire for your children? What goals have you established for them? Write them out. Doing this can cultivate a lot of thoughts of what you’ve accomplished in life, why and what you need to do to create a vision for raising your children. Decide should you continue operating toward those goals for your family? Why or why not?
  2. Be honest with yourself concerning any selections you’ve created that were diversions towards your children. When did you make a choice that prevented you from continued along with your plans at the time?

Looking back currently, what do you see as your biggest mistakes?

• Did a number of those selections prove to be wise for your family? Do they lead you down a path that you currently see as a lot of in tune with what you want for your children?

  1. Set goals currently. Create a replacement list of your current goals and needs for the long run.

• Maybe you wish your child to be a bold witness of Jesus Christ. What needs to happen for it to occur? Produce the mini-goals necessary to assist you in meeting your primary goal of raising that child to follow Christ. For example, if you need to read them the Bible every night, embrace those as goals.

• Check off every smaller goal you accomplish as you move toward the more significant, overall goal. It’ll feel nice after you do.

  1. Post your life aspirations wherever you’ll see them. Place them on your mirror, icebox, Smartphone, electronic pad, and bulletin board. Place a replica by your favorite chair within the front room wherever you’ll re-read them typically. In short, guarantee your vision is correct before of you most of the time as well as your child.
  2. Produce a vision board. Use photos from magazines and write exalting words associated with the images you select to put on your board and help your child produce one as well. Your vision board may be a graphic reminder for you and your family of what you’re operating toward daily.
  3. Decide whether or not you’re occupying “the right place.” will your current location meet your employment, personal, monetary and spiritual needs? Is there potential to realize your goals for you and your family are there? If not, take into account your choices.

• Are you willing to maneuver away? If so, embrace on your goal list everything you want to do to be able to move away from a place that is not going to help you and your child grow spiritually.

  1. Create your family vision as a priority. To live out the view you’ve developed, you will want to keep your image at the highest of your priorities. After creating selections within the future, take into account choices which will support the life vision for your family

Developing a life for you and your children can take time, reflection, and work. However, the rewards are going to be amazing. Your families life will experience passion and purpose. Why wait? Begin breaking the generational curse and start creating your family vision and mission today!

I pray you enjoyed reading about how to create a family vision with ease!

godly marriage vision

6 Reasons Why a Godly Marriage Vision Is So Important

Let’s now look at 6 reasons why a Godly marriage vision is so important.

First, A Godly Marriage Vision Will Be Blessed.

Gen. 1:27, 28- states: “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them”. The Bible clearly stated, in marriage one of the acts He produces through your union with one another is to bless it. We all know there are many ways God can bless a marriage.

God’s intent is always to bless His children holistically (spiritually, emotionally, financially, cognitively). The question you must ask yourselves as a couple is, what ways specifically does God want to bless us this year? Once you establish this question along with following the next five reason’s, we will later examine how to make these 6 reasons life applicable.

Secondly, A Godly Marriage Vision Brings Husbands and Wives Together as One.

To become one flesh is God’s goal for marriage and should be ours as well. To become close in harmony with one another and that no division come between them. Gen. 2:24: “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Ever since the fall of man in the garden of Eden, there has been an attack on the husband and wife regarding oneness in their union with one another. One of the divisions that keep us from uniting with one another is the lust of the eye, flesh, and the pride of life. (1 John 2:16). The Bible tells us that these things do not come from our Father God, but from the world. These distractions have been the tools that Satan has used to draw a wedge between husband and wife. These particular acts have lead married couples into adultery, couvetnous acts, theft, and other sins.

Also, arguments over money and the love of it can be detrimental to our union with one another. It only leads to evil when we love money and put it before God, our marriage and other things (Heb. 13:5). So, the question for your vision is: In what area this year does God want the two of you to become united stronger together as one, what obstacle might be in the way?

Thirdly, a Godly Marriage Exemplifies the Fruits of the Spirit.

Fruit of the Spirit

“Now the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law (Gal. 5:22, 23). As married couples, God wants us to live and exemplify love, joy, peace, self-control, kindness, goodness and faithfulness with one another. When we do this as married couples, we exemplify His character and spirit to each other and also to the world, representing the image of Christ and the church to the entire universe! So, the question for your vision in your marriage is: What areas or ways this year, do you vision as a married couple to exemplify God’s character through the fruit of the spirit to each other and the world?

Fourth, Godly Marriage Vision Creates a Rock-Solid Union.

He encourages you not to allow anything to destroy the union He created for you and your spouse. From the beginning of God’s creation with marriage between man and woman, He commanded for husband and wife to cleave to one another and to not let anything come between them (Gen.2:24). When there are a commitment and bond sealed together between two that are in agreement, it becomes tough to break that seal if they both are on one accord! Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. (Eccl. 4:12). What we have to understand is, the cord of marriage consists of three strands, the husband, wife, and God! And with God, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26). So, the question for your vision is: What must you do or how do you envision this year keeping the three strands of your cord in marriage undamaged?

Fifth, a Godly Plan for your Marriage Will Give You Hope for the Future.  

 ”For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:19). God wants to give you hope, the assurance and expectations of knowing He has grand plans for your future and what is to come considerably in your marriage. He wants your faith, belief, mindset, and heart to line up with one another. So the question for your vision is: In the next 1 to 5 years, what hope has God given you for the future, what do you see for coming?

The Sixth is to Walk in Agreement Together Daily.

”I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them” (Matt. 18:19-20). God wants you to bring every marriage issue and challenge to Him in prayer. He wants you to pray together about these particular issues. So, the question for your vision is: How will you start with what, when and why. What are you going to pray together about, why are you going to pray about it and when are you going to do so together consistently? The key is to actively seek God together on these crucial issues. Remember, where there are two gathered in His name, He is there with the two of you every step of the way!

-Now that we’ve seen 6 Reasons Why a Godly Marriage Vision is So Important., it is now time to look at how we can make this vision happen! Here are seven steps to making your marriage vision happen:

First, believe in your marriage vision. You first have to think what you have seen or aspire to do is possible, no matter how difficult it may look. (Matt. 19:26- With man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible).

Second, you must practice visualization. You must visualize, see yourselves operating in it now; this allows the dream to move forward in motion, which then becomes a reality. This is the most powerful part of all the steps because if you don’t see yourselves operating in it, doing it, and accomplishing it, it will be hard to take further steps towards your vision.

Thirdly, you must write it down. Get all your ideas out from your gut and write them down! Don’t worry about how they sound at this point. Nothing is out of reach or is too big. (Habakkuk 2:2-Then the Lord answered me and said, record, write the vision and inscribe it on tablets, that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is yet for the appointed time, it hastens towards the goal, and it will not fail. Though it tarries; wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay).

Fourthly, you must prioritize your list. Decide what fits the vision, what’s workable, realistic, what order should things be placed. Put a systematic plan together, though things may not stay in the order you started them in; it is always good to have a planned system in place of how things should go.

The fifth thing you must talk out the story. The more you talk it out, the more you can see it. It then becomes more comfortable to work out the kinks of what’s right and what’s not. It also gives you more confidence, passion, and excitement. It allows your spouse and others to get excited as well and also encourage you two and possibly help support your vision! (Romans 4:17– talks about speaking your faith, what’s your vision. Speak those things that are not as though they were), The Apostle Paul would also always tell his story of his transformation on Damascus road with Jesus and how he received his vision and began his mission!

The sixth step is, for you both is to set your beginning and end date.

Get started as soon as possible, set a time to begin your quest to follow the vision God has placed in both you and your spouses heart. What tends to happen is we set far off years on accomplishing our ideas and then procrastinate, feeling we have time, so we never get started. It is best to start preparing before your start date begins. (Prov. 6:4- Don’t put it off; do it now. Don’t rest until you do)!

The seventh step is, present and operate in the vision to where it is purposed to be.

Whatever your idea may be, it is time for you to walk in confidence in it. Know that it is something stronger and more magnificent than you! Know that God is in it, He’s the one who gave it to you and He will not allow you to fail!

(Joshua 1:9– Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go)!

A small review in planning your marriage vision.

1. Vision– What do you see? What did you see in your imagination? e.g., you see a world where……

2. Mission– In that vision, what do you intend to do? e.g., In that world, you plan to….. A, B, C, …..Do what?

3. Strategy– How will you do it? You will achieve this mission by doing……A, B, C.

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Having A Vision For Your Marriage, God’s vision for marriage

Having A Vision For Your Marriage Is Your Best Bet To Grow

You have been taught to have a vision statement for your business, church, and personal life, but no one has explained to you the importance of having a vision for your marriage. Today we are going to share with you why it is just as important to have a vision for your marriage, particularly the importance of implementing God’s vision for your marriage. In addition to writing it down and taking the necessary steps to make it happen.

Why Is Having a Vision for Your Marriage Important?

It is essential to have a vision because, God said in His Word: “Where there is no vision, the people shall perish” (Prov. 29:18). Therefore, the same can be said for your marriages. If you do not have a vision for your marriage, it will perish.

So The Question Is, What is a Vision?

The definition of a vision is to have a picture in mind, envision. It is a mental image produced by the imagination, something that is or has been seen. (In the supernatural, spirit and mind). Once we see this in the natural and supernatural, we then pursue it and God makes it become a reality.

What Happens If You Don’t Create A Marriage Vision?

If we do not pursue what we see and envision in the natural and supernatural, as stated earlier, our marriage will perish. Let’s understand what it means to perish. To perish means, to suffer complete ruin or destruction. Disappear, vanish, fade, dissolve, evaporate, wither away! This can happen to us whether physically, emotionally and spiritually if we are not careful.

Having a Vision for Your Marriage Keeps Things Thriving,

Your vision is what keeps things thriving; it keeps things rolling in motion. Your image is your spiritual heartbeat from the supernatural working of God’s spirit within you. He’s working on completing His divine will through you in the natural form. Our vision allows us to make the transition from just existing to living. This is not only true for you as an individual, but one in the union of marriage in which God has ordained.

A Successful Marriage Is Just Like Running a Business.

As a business goes through good and bad seasons in thriving of sales, it is vital for these establishments to refocus, re-evaluate and look back on their initial vision and missions they previously established, if this does not happen, they will no longer thrive as a business. If they lose the focus of their vision, mission and never revisit a new one, then the company will die!

The Results Of Not Having A Marriage Vision:

As stated with businesses, this can also be the same case with marriages. It is essential for you to have a vision for your marriage from the onset so that when you go through troubled and challenging times, you can reflect on and retain the idea you both framed and work towards receiving it! If you do not have a vision, or attempt to make adjustments in your supernatural for your marriage, it will eventually fail!  

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